Politics
Underperforming Families to become Academies
Under new guidelines any British families deemed to be underperforming will be forced to become academies, the government said today. The news comes hot on the heels of a government-led enquiry into the ‘family unit’, which revealed that most families were struggling to get by as a result of bad fiscal management by local authority […]
Open Letter to David Cameron
What follows is an open letter to the Prime Minister David Cameron, from ‘Cecil’… Hello, Mr Prime Minister. My name is Cecil. It never used to be but it is now. My original name doesn’t matter as you never knew it before and no-one noticed me anyway. The reason for the name-change to Cecil will […]
Julian Assange Requests UN Change Definition of Rape to ‘Arbitrary Detention of the Penis’
Following on from his success in getting the UN to recognise the avoidance of arrest as somehow being detained against your will, Julian Assange has decided to see what other bullshit he can get away with. As of today he has petitioned the UN to recognise rape as ‘the unlawful and arbitrary detention of the […]
Open Letter from Space
What follows is an open letter to the Earth, from alien race the Ekids… Please pay close attention if you are over the age of thirty or unable to work for whatever reason. Dear Humanoids, It will come as no surprise to you, if you have the Internet or any friends at all, that many […]
David Cameron to take Compulsory ‘Governing’ Classes
The Prime Minister David Cameron has been told by his advisors that if he wants to continue being boss of the UK then he has to take governing classes. This is part of a wider government drive that includes numeracy and compassion classes for George Osborne, and two hours on an operating table under […]
The Sceptical Poet 