Unnervingly Accurate Horoscope
This Month’s Horoscope: Aries
Aries Psychic Jess says: This month you will on several occasions eat special toasted bread commemorating the horrific crucifixion of a historical figure who probably wasn’t real anyway. The association with death won’t put you off your food. You will also find yourself eating special eggs made of chocolate commemorating the birth of the Rabbit […]
This Month’s Horoscope: Pisces
Pisces Psychic Jess says: This month sees many changes for you and also, at the same time, nothing much really happens. No one of your friends or family will have any money to go out with you, yet they all seem to be booking summer holidays. It’s a bit wet and windy where you live […]
This Month’s Horoscope: Aquarius
Aquarius Psychic Jess says: This month you will find yourself complaining about the lack of snow, or that there is too much snow. You will find yourself feeling a bit better about all the money you mysteriously spent in the run up to December, yet still wake up crying in the middle of the night. […]
This Month’s Horoscope: Capricorn
Capricorn Psychic Jess says: Oh dear, it’s a month of 18p noodles and economy beans on toast for you, but you had a good time didn’t you ordering all that stuff off Amazon? The glamour and excitement of the previous month has worn off and left you a little deflated. You have probably already failed […]
This Month’s Horoscope: Sagittarius
Sagittarius Psychic Jess says: This month, I see you surrounded by green and red. You’ll find that you’re a popular little elf as you get invited to a night out that will cost you an arm and a leg for a lunch that last week cost you £10.95. There’ll be a lot of green around […]
The Sceptical Poet 