Sport

Outrage as Rugby Players are Replaced by Singing Buffoons

Outrage as Rugby Players are Replaced by Singing Buffoons

ITV have received tens of thousands of complaints this week after coverage of the rugby was replaced by The X Factor. “It’s a bloody disgrace,” said sports fan Wally. “I was just getting into the rugby and then they went and axed it for Shite Factor. Now I’ll never know what happened to my favourite […]

Hare Wins Race Against Tortoise

Hare Wins Race Against Tortoise

A reenactment of the story of the Tortoise and The Hare for a children’s party ended in tears yesterday, when the hare beat the tortoise to the finish line. “I don’t understand it,” said Mary Gilcroft, whose daughter’s party this was. “It was nothing like the book. Not only was the hare fast, but he […]

Surf Board Manufacturer Announces New ‘Mars’ Range

Surf Board Manufacturer Announces New ‘Mars’ Range

Following the news that there is running water on Mars, surf board manufacturers Board Stupid have announced their new ‘Mars’ Range. The stylish boards are specially weighted for Mars’ gravity and come in a variety of Mars-themed designs, such as ‘Totally Recall, Dude’ and ‘The Surfer Chronicles’. Board Stupid are hoping to appeal to the […]

Rugby Player Comes Out as Not Giving a Fuck about Sport

Rugby Player Comes Out as Not Giving a Fuck about Sport

Rugby League player Teagan Thurst has become the first British player to openly not give a fuck about rugby, or indeed any other sport. “It’s just a fucking ball,” he told the BBC. “It should not be taboo for sportsmen and women to come out as being bored shitless by all this pointless running around […]