WAR!
Islamic State Tops List of Most Obese Countries
A report by the World Health Organisation has listed Islamic State as the most obese nation in the world. The report has generated controversy across the world as many people do not consider Islamic State a proper nation or country. It also generated controversy within Islamic State itself, as obesity goes against their image. “We’re […]
Controversy as Syria War Strategists Revealed to be Games Workshop Staff
David Cameron came under fire this week when it was revealed that he has been outsourcing strategy planning for the war in Syria to his local branch of Games Workshop. The news came out when a journalist casually visited the shop and noticed that the 3D game board in the middle of the shop looked […]
JOIN THE ARMY!
Failing at school? Not dead yet? Join the army! In the army, you get to travel all over the world (although in hot countries your boots might melt). You must be sick of your mum’s bedroom, amiright? In the army, you get to replace all your failures at school with hand-to-hand combat skills and camouflage […]
Government to Outsource Syria Debate to One Poll
The government has decided to outsource any further ethical debate over the bombing of Syria to multiple-choice pollsters One Poll. “Morals are difficult,” said David Cameron. “I think it’s much better if we privatise these kinds of decisions to anonymous Internet button clickers.” One Poll are said to be delighted to have beaten ATOS to […]
Cameron Only Wants to Bomb a Country Because Tony Blair Did
It has been revealed that David Cameron is jealous of Tony Blair’s lovable adventures in Iraq, and simply wants to have his own ‘go’ at Syria. “We’re supposed to be the nasty party,” said a source. “Cameron can’t simply let Blair have the monopoly on being a warmongering dickhead. It is completely understandable that Cameron […]
The Sceptical Poet 