Health and Lifestyle
Woman Accuses Primark of Selling Good Quality Clothing
A woman has been given an 8-month suspended sentence for lying about top clothes retailer Primark. The woman, known only as Chelsea, is 27 so ought to know better than to tell porky pies, and is from Swansea which is somewhere in Wales. Chelsea sold her story to the Daily Star last autumn in which […]
Man’s Brain Partially Melts After His Toddler Watches 32 Episodes of Same Show On The Run
Ambulance crews were called to a Liverpool address yesterday morning after a frenzied and confusing 999 call. A man was found slumped in front of a television with his toddler son, while episodes of the toddler show Twirlywoos played on the screen. Paramedics say he appeared to have difficulty focusing on reality, and liquid appeared […]
Man Fails to Ignore Elephant in the Room
A man was distressed this week when he completely failed to ignore an elephant in his living room, much to the consternation of his family. John Buckle told us: “Me and the kids came home from doing the shopping one day, and there was this fucking elephant in the living room. An actual living, breathing, shitting […]
The Sceptical Poet Dating
Category Male Seeks Female Hi ladies, my name is Big Trev and I’m 42 from Birkenhead. I’m looking for a younger lady as I’d like to have children. I like smart women who can cook. My favourite food is spaghetti hoops on toast. I don’t like women who wear high heels they can’t walk in […]
Anonymous Declare War on Christmas
Vigilante internet hacking group Anonymous, who stole their persona from the godawful V For Vendetta film, have this week declared war on ‘Christmas in November’. Speaking exclusively to The Sceptical Poet – and anybody else who has internet access – Anonymous co-founder Alan, er, we mean ‘Mr Anonymous’, told us: “It’s one day of the […]
The Sceptical Poet 