World
Our Alien Overlords Give Us Another Year of Life Due to Good Behaviour
The reptilian alien race known as the Ekid, who secretly rule the human race, have granted us another year of life due to good behaviour. Speaking on a top secret frequency to the world’s leaders, their representative said: “You guys have done really well over the last few decades, especially in the area of ‘pollution’. […]
New Study Proves Once and For All What Men and Women Are Attracted To
A long term interdisciplinary study into the mating habits of human beings has finally revealed what men and women look for in the opposite sex. The survey discovered that there are only three things which men and women are actually attracted to: – “First on the list is vocal chords. This allows men and women […]
Woman Refuses to Serve Customers Until They Have Shower
Kansas born shop worker Aileen Walker has caused a media sensation this week by refusing to serve customers who have baths instead of showers. The internet was flooded yesterday with footage of the cashier arguing with a customer after asking him if he had bathed or showered that morning. When the customer, Bob Roberts, refused […]
Superman Admits He’s Useless
Famous Metropolis resident Superman has admitted in an interview that his super powers are completely useless. “People think it must be great to be able to fly,” he told reporter Lois Lane. “The truth is, it’s actually incredibly dangerous. I’ve never done any flight training. I can’t even drive. I don’t know where the planes […]
Swarms of Dead Migrants Coming to Britain and Stealing our Graves
Record swarms of dead migrants are pouring into this country and stealing our graves. Reports from Dover talk of lorryfuls of migrant hordes touching down upon our shores, where they are then escorted by British vehicles – at great cost to the British taxpayer – to honest-to-goodness British graves. Brian Mold, a social club owner […]
The Sceptical Poet 