Politics
American Guns to be Hidden inside Kinder Eggs
In a bid to reduce the number of mass shootings in the US, President Obama has passed a bill stipulating that all guns for sale in the USA will from now on come encased in giant kinder eggs. Kinder eggs are banned in the USA because of a genetic deficiency in North Americans which means […]
47% of BBC Employees think BBC Stands for Bash Bloody Corbyn
A poll of BBC employees in Salford has revealed that a startling 47% think that BBC stands for Bash Bloody Corbyn. “I’m not sure what the fuss is all about,” an anonymous source told us. “I mean, what else would it be? The whole news apparatus is geared towards slagging him off no matter what […]
Butchers Warn of Sausage Sale Slump
British butchers have claimed their livelihoods will be threatened by a huge slump in sausage sales if Daily Mail AI experiment Katie Hopkins goes ahead with her naked run through London with a halal sausage up her bum. Ms Hopkins is planning the stunt in protest at the new London mayor having darker skin than […]
Ken Livingstone’s Foot to be Evicted from his Mouth
Ken Livingstone’s foot has been given its marching orders after outstaying its welcome inside the mouth of their mutual owner. The foot has stayed in Mr Livingstone’s mouth several times over the years. At first regarded as a lovable scamp, his increasing tendency to turn up unannounced and barge his way in has finally turned […]
Ian Duncan Smith Creates New ‘Conservativism Plus’ Party
Following on from his shock resignation from the Tory party, unlikely conscientious objector Ian Duncan Smith has revealed that he plans to start his own version of the Conservative party: Conservativism Plus. Speaking to journalists this morning, he said: “Too long have I stood by and watched myself do things that I disagreed yet agreed […]
The Sceptical Poet 