Science
NASA Finds Evidence of Advanced Civilisation on Mars – Twenty Minutes Later No-One Gives a Shit
At 10am this morning, NASA reported that it had found evidence of a highly advanced alien civilisation on Mars. At 10.20am the general public reported they no longer gave a shit. The scenes at NASA headquarters were jubilant: “This is amazing!” said mission leader John Dayson. “We thought we’d find some fossilised microbes at best. […]
Surf Board Manufacturer Announces New ‘Mars’ Range
Following the news that there is running water on Mars, surf board manufacturers Board Stupid have announced their new ‘Mars’ Range. The stylish boards are specially weighted for Mars’ gravity and come in a variety of Mars-themed designs, such as ‘Totally Recall, Dude’ and ‘The Surfer Chronicles’. Board Stupid are hoping to appeal to the […]
Calls for David Cameron to be Sacked After He Says You Must be a Psychopath if You Secretly Film Unsuspecting Animals
Prime Minister David Cameron has come under fire for claiming in an interview that people “must have a psychopathic element to them if they’re taking pleasure from secretly filming living things.” Cameron singled out Chris Packham and David Attenborough as the worst culprits, and said he would push parliament to vote against allowing nature programs on […]
Our Alien Overlords Give Us Another Year of Life Due to Good Behaviour
The reptilian alien race known as the Ekid, who secretly rule the human race, have granted us another year of life due to good behaviour. Speaking on a top secret frequency to the world’s leaders, their representative said: “You guys have done really well over the last few decades, especially in the area of ‘pollution’. […]
New Study Proves Once and For All What Men and Women Are Attracted To
A long term interdisciplinary study into the mating habits of human beings has finally revealed what men and women look for in the opposite sex. The survey discovered that there are only three things which men and women are actually attracted to: – “First on the list is vocal chords. This allows men and women […]
The Sceptical Poet 