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This Month’s Horoscope: Aquarius

Turns out Psychic Jess failed to predict Valentine’s Day. After re-consulting her star-charts and slapping herself in the face, she has updated her reading for Aquarius to be even more unnervingly accurate.

The Sceptical Poet

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Aquarius

Psychic Jess says:

This month you will find yourself complaining about the lack of snow, or that there is too much snow. You will find yourself feeling a bit better about all the money you mysteriously spent in the run up to December, yet still wake up crying in the middle of the night. If you are not careful, you may find yourself ringing up your favourite actors and musicians who are getting on a bit and asking them to look after themselves, have some chicken soup and keep the fire on in the evening. You will probably watch Star Wars at some point, or feel as if you already have as no one will shut up about it. As you are an air sign, you will probably breathe a lot this month. Or suffocate. There will be a sudden realisation that there are probably currently more glossy TV shows…

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