“My father was asking ‘is there life on Mars?’ for 45 years, and yet NASA failed to find an answer. I shall be suing as soon as possible.” he tweeted an hour ago.
A bewildered NASA responded via their own Twitter account:
“We are sorry for your loss, but rest assured we have looked and continue to look for life on Mars. We found water, which is a good sign.”
The relatively polite exchange descended into a heated argument quite quickly.
Duncan: “My father didn’t ask if there was water on Mars. He asked if there was life on Mars. I am definitely suing you.”
NASA: “Honestly, we kind of assumed the question was rhetorical.”
NASA: “Why are you picking on us anyway? You’re British, sue the ESA.”
Duncan: “You have more money.”
NASA: “Frankly, you probably used to get more pocket money than we got funding. You find life on Mars.”
Jones’s uncharacteristic behaviour continued when he also threatened to sue every lawman who beat up the wrong guy, films which are saddening bores, sailors who fought in dancehalls, and Mickey Mouse for turning into a cow.
There has yet to be any official response from all concerned.
NEWS UPDATE: Duncan Jones’s twitter account has been confirmed as having been hacked by the person responsible for last night’s hacking of Jeremy Corbyn’s account. Suspicions were aroused when he called Angie Bowie a pie.