Latest News
Captain America Shot Dead after a Child Falls into his Enclosure
Lovable US superhero Captain America has been shot dead by the army after a child fell into his enclosure during a school trip. The incident happened yesterday morning. It is believed the child climbed the five foot wall around the enclosure while his parents weren’t looking, hoping for a glimpse of ‘the Cap’. Once fallen […]
David Attenborough Reveals He Just Reads Whatever the Teleprompter Says
David Attenborough has revealed that he’s been using a teleprompter for the whole of his career and knows nothing about naturalism or animals. “My degree is in English. I haven’t a fucking clue about animals.” Sir Attenborough revealed the truth in an interview with Gorillas Monthly. When asked why he has spent most of his […]
47% of BBC Employees think BBC Stands for Bash Bloody Corbyn
A poll of BBC employees in Salford has revealed that a startling 47% think that BBC stands for Bash Bloody Corbyn. “I’m not sure what the fuss is all about,” an anonymous source told us. “I mean, what else would it be? The whole news apparatus is geared towards slagging him off no matter what […]
Butchers Warn of Sausage Sale Slump
British butchers have claimed their livelihoods will be threatened by a huge slump in sausage sales if Daily Mail AI experiment Katie Hopkins goes ahead with her naked run through London with a halal sausage up her bum. Ms Hopkins is planning the stunt in protest at the new London mayor having darker skin than […]
The Sceptical Poet 