Health and Lifestyle
Junior Doctors Offer New Alcohol Safety Limit for Putting up with Government Bullshit
What follows is a joint statement by junior doctors on safe alcohol limits when getting drunk to put up with government bullshit… Just keep drinking. Safety limits do not matter. There is no other way to survive the storm of bullshit leaking from the government’s treacherous slacks. Drink. Keep drinking. Get drunk. Get drunker. Get […]
70 Year Old Woman Regrets Tattoo
Mary Heinz, a 70-year-old ‘former hellraiser’ from Merseyside has claimed to regret getting her entire body covered in tattoos. In an interview with pensioners’ magazine ’65+’ – which she insists wasn’t done just to supplement her meagre pension – Mary says: “My parents always told me: you’ll regret it when you’re older. And they were […]
Islamic State Tops List of Most Obese Countries
A report by the World Health Organisation has listed Islamic State as the most obese nation in the world. The report has generated controversy across the world as many people do not consider Islamic State a proper nation or country. It also generated controversy within Islamic State itself, as obesity goes against their image. “We’re […]
Foolproof Method of Avoiding Type 2 Diabetes Discovered
A man from Northampton claims to have discovered a fool proof method of avoiding the onset of type 2 diabetes. “I was sitting in my flat,” John Corrigan told us, “Watching the Antiques Roadshow and breaking in the third packet of wagon wheels, when it suddenly dawned on me. There’s a reason I’m a fat […]
Christmas Jumper Day in Tatters
One firm’s bid to unite its multi-cultural workforce under a baby jesus shaped umbrella has been ruined by those prankster atheists at Android. The firm, a pop up The Apprentice style christmas gift shop in Camden, has been the subject of much internet mockage and humiliation this week after, in a hilarious twist of fate, […]
The Sceptical Poet 