It was suggested today that pancakes may be one of the prime causes of stomach cancer in Britain, according to a special report in the Daily Mail.

A two month study of six obese people who all lived in the same family home discovered that in almost two-thirds of those studied, stomach cancer usually tended to happen in those who regularly ate pancakes on pancake day (the study was undertaken in summer, but those studied filled in a survey stating that they ate pancakes every February on pancake day).

Of the remaining third, neither person ate pancakes and only one got stomach cancer. This result was not thought to be statistically significant.

There are calls for pancakes to be either banned, slapped with a health warning on the ingredients packaging, or taxed into oblivion.

A government think tank suggested calling them panbakes instead of pancakes, because ‘cakes’ suggest sugary sweetness, and all our shopping choices are completely reactionary and unhealthy.

The Daily Mail has started a petition to make poor people eat less pancakes and more celery.