As superhero films continue to churn their way out of Hollywood at an exponential rate, Marvel comics stalwart Stan Lee has apologised for inventing most of the characters in the first place.
Caught with his head in his hands outside a studio where he was filming yet another cameo, Lee said:
“I’m so, so sorry. When I created these characters, I just thought they’d be read by a few kids. I never thought it would go this far. I mean, who’d actually dress like Captain America for a live action film? I never meant for this to happen. They’re everywhere, on every TV, every big screen. It’s horrible, absolutely horrible, but I don’t know how to stop it!”
“Christ, those Avengers movies. They’re like being repeatedly hit in the face by a kids’ toy shop. I never realised I’d written so many superheroes. And they don’t even have Spiderman in them. What the fuck have I been doing with my life?”
Lee’s words were roundly dismissed as the rantings of a lunatic by Marvel. In a statement, they said:
“He’s mad! You can never have too many superheroes. That’s why we’ve slated seven new TV series for 2017, and twelve sequels to our films in both 2018 and 2019. Not to mention the rebooted reboot of Spiderman which is being filmed back to back with the current one.”
DC were too busy doing yet another Batman reboot to issue a statement. However, Robert Downey Jr was allegedly caught on a fan’s phone at a premier shouting for help, before Marvel bosses bundled him away in a blackened limo. Iron Man 4 is due out next year.