Entertainment
Eastenders Shocks Viewers with a Well-Written Script about Events That Actually Happen
TV soap Eastenders shocked viewers last night with an episode that appeared to have been written with something approaching skill and knowledge of the real world. The BBC received a record number of complaints about the episode, which detailed the character Shabnam’s loss of her unborn baby. “It’s ridiculous,” said one complainant. “Previously, Shabnam had […]
It’s A Blue, Blue Christmas
Facebook recently announced that it has ‘bought Christmas’. In a statement to the press, they said they have purchased the entire festival and everything related to it. Father Christmas will now wear a blue outfit to offset his white beard in a bid to emulate the colours of the facebook flag. In addition, facebook will […]
Conservatives Privatise Royal Family – Endemol Promises Best Series of Big Brother Yet
In their latest extreme cost-cutting measure, the Conservative government has privatised the royal family. In the shock move, Endemol became the highest bidders, outbidding Disney and Marvel. They released a statement in the early hours of this morning: “As of ten o’clock last night, we now own the rights to the royal family. We will […]
Systematic Review Shows Music Can Ease Pain – Unless It’s Shit
A systematic review published in the Lancet has revealed that music can help ease pain after surgery – unless it’s crap, in which case pain increases. Hospital studies over ten years showed reductions in pain and discomfort when a patient was exposed to songs with melodies, well-structured chord sequences and nice voices. If songs had […]
I’m A Celeb/X-Factor Mash-up Announced
I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here is due to return to ITV this autumn, with a twist. The producers, who couldn’t be bothered thinking up their own ideas, have decided to pilfer channel 4’s ‘Mash Up’ idea. Following the success of ‘8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown’, they have decided to cross […]
The Sceptical Poet 