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Jessica Fletcher Revealed as the Killer in all 264 Episodes of Murder She Wrote

 Earlier this week, Angela Lansbury went on record to confirm that her character Jessica Fletcher was in fact the killer in every episode of the hit television show.

“There was going to be a big cross-over show finale starring Columbo in which the true murderer was revealed as Jessica herself,” she proudly announced. “Then there was going to be a spin off show that went back over every single episode explaining how and when the murders took place. We had to can the idea when Peter Falk died.”

Producers of the show said, “It was the only logical conclusion really. I mean, who happens to be at the scene of 200+ crimes. Who has an infinite number of nieces and nephews to visit. A cold-blooded serial killer in the guise of a friendly old biddy, that’s who.”

Several of the show’s actors actually went on to be proper famous people. We tweeted them, asking for their opinion of this exciting revelation.

Joaquin/Leaf Phoenix who was in an episode of MSW when he was about three, said “Blimey. I had no idea. I’m shocked. Really. I had no idea I was even in it. To be honest with you, I don’t remember filming it. Please stop eating meat.”

Courtney Cox told us, “I’m not interested in your stupid story unless it’s about me.”

And the boy from Flight of the Navigator claims he really was abducted by aliens. To be fair, this would explain his mysterious disappearance from our TVscreens. He also seems to have completely forgotten who Jessica Fletcher is, but swears blind he didn’t steal her purse or forge those cheques.

The revelation of who the real murderer was in all 264 episodes of MSW has divided opinion.

The general public’s opinion appears to be a mix of complete and utter apathy and a big fat, “In your face, I fucking told you so.”

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