Tag Archive | Syria

Controversy as Syria War Strategists Revealed to be Games Workshop Staff

Controversy as Syria War Strategists Revealed to be Games Workshop Staff

David Cameron came under fire this week when it was revealed that he has been outsourcing strategy planning for the war in Syria to his local branch of Games Workshop. The news came out when a journalist casually visited the shop and noticed that the 3D game board in the middle of the shop looked […]

Government to Outsource Syria Debate to One Poll

The government has decided to outsource any further ethical debate over the bombing of Syria to multiple-choice pollsters One Poll. “Morals are difficult,” said David Cameron. “I think it’s much better if we privatise these kinds of decisions to anonymous Internet button clickers.” One Poll are said to be delighted to have beaten ATOS to […]

Cameron Only Wants to Bomb a Country Because Tony Blair Did

Cameron Only Wants to Bomb a Country Because Tony Blair Did

It has been revealed that David Cameron is jealous of Tony Blair’s lovable adventures in Iraq, and simply wants to have his own ‘go’ at Syria. “We’re supposed to be the nasty party,” said a source. “Cameron can’t simply let Blair have the monopoly on being a warmongering dickhead. It is completely understandable that Cameron […]

UK to Bomb Syria by Lobbing Homeless People from Siege Engines

UK to Bomb Syria by Lobbing Homeless People from Siege Engines

David Cameron revealed today that the UK will indeed bomb Syria, but that the government’s austerity drive will result in an extreme change in the type of bombing taking place. “Times are hard,” he told cynical journalists outside Number 10 this morning. “Tough decisions have to be made, and we can no longer bomb in the way that […]