WAR!

UK to Bomb Syria by Lobbing Homeless People from Siege Engines

UK to Bomb Syria by Lobbing Homeless People from Siege Engines

David Cameron revealed today that the UK will indeed bomb Syria, but that the government’s austerity drive will result in an extreme change in the type of bombing taking place. “Times are hard,” he told cynical journalists outside Number 10 this morning. “Tough decisions have to be made, and we can no longer bomb in the way that […]

Anonymous Declare War on Christmas

Anonymous Declare War on Christmas

Vigilante internet hacking group Anonymous, who stole their persona from the godawful V For Vendetta film, have this week declared war on ‘Christmas in November’. Speaking exclusively to The Sceptical Poet – and anybody else who has internet access – Anonymous co-founder Alan, er, we mean ‘Mr Anonymous’, told us: “It’s one day of the […]

Lib Dem Leader Says He’ll Press Any Button You Want

Lib Dem Leader Says He’ll Press Any Button You Want

The leader of the Liberal Democrats has said that if he was Prime Minister he would press any button the public wanted him to: red, blue, yellow, whatever. Following David Cameron’s “I would definitely press the red button” response to Jeremy Corbyn’s non-nuclear stance, Tim Farron (yes, we had to look him up), clearly not wanting […]

Tony Blair’s Kids to Apologise for Tony Blair

Tony Blair’s Kids to Apologise for Tony Blair

Tony Blair’s children are to give a joint speech on Wednesday in which they are expected to apologise on behalf of their family for their father’s behaviour while prime minister of the UK. They will assure the country that, “They will never make the same mistake again.” A leaked excerpt of the speech obtained by The Sceptical […]