thepoetscane
Woman Emerges from Four-Year Clickbait Coma
A 37-year-old woman has started on the long road to recovery after emerging from a four-year clickbait induced coma. Since 2012, Clara James has been kept in a private room at Nottingham’s Queen’s Hospital, where she was permanently sat in front of a laptop that was always plugged in to ensure the chain of clickbait […]
Hipster Trunks Manufacturers Still Waiting for Increase in Sales
Manufacturers of men’s hipster trunks are still waiting for the current increase in hipsters to lead to an increase of sales of their ridiculous underwear. We caught up with Phil McGregor, CEO of Melvin Stein Underwear: “It goes against all our prediction. Our products are called hipsters. They themselves are called hipsters. It should be […]
Labour No Longer Even Backed by D:Ream
Labour have been left disappointed after it was revealed that their former cheerleaders, pop band D:Ream, no longer support Labour. The band’s song Things Can Only Get Better became the official anthem for Labour’s 1994 election campaign, helping them into power despite the general message being really fucking cynical if you think about it. D:Ream […]
Political Scientists Flummoxed by Schrodinger’s Train Phenomenon
Political scientists up and down the country have become flummoxed by a rare phenomenon known as Schrödinger’s Train Syndrome. The recently observed phenomenon occurs on Virgin trains and involves observation of train seats by people from the Labour party. People with no emotional stake in the Labour party merely see a train. If viewed by […]
New T-shirts for Sale!
Not content with hating sport silently? Why not alienate your sporty friends by insulting them with a passive-aggressive t-shirt? Tell them what they know to be true deep inside by putting it in words across your chest, where they can read it and be enlightened while simultaneously admiring/laughing at your body. The t-shirts come in […]
The Sceptical Poet 