Leave a comment

Donald Trump Sadly Still Perfectly Well

trump

The US has been hit by revelations that presidential hopeful Donald Trump is perfectly healthy.

Footage has been released on several occasions that show Trump speaking unintelligibly into a microphone with a look of confusion on his face, a common symptom of Alzheimer’s.

He is also known to exhibit random exclamations of an extreme racist and/or sexist nature, as if he is still living in the 1950s in his mind and is confused about reality.

However, a Trump campaign spokesperson said:

“Oh, that’s just the way he is. He’s real, you see. He’s actually very fit and healthy for a guy of 70.”

This revelation has put many Americans with a healthy sense of fear and morality into a state of panic.

“Wait, this is how he is?” a New Mexico resident told us. “I’d actually begun to hope for the future, but we’re fucked, aren’t we?”

This revelation follows hot on the heels of the news that many Americans would actually vote for Trump despite seeming perfectly healthy themselves.

“TRUMP! USA! WOO! BRITNEY SPEARS! GUANTANAMO! GUNS! TRUMP!” a man on the street informed us.

 

Advertisements

Speak, or forever hold thy tongue...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: