A new EU-wide poll had resulted in the United Kingdom being renamed Cunty McCuntface.

President of the EU, Jean-Claude Juncker, said:

“Their old name didn’t make any sense. They’re not united and they don’t have a king, let alone a dom. We felt the new name more accurately reflected our perception of who they are.”

Cunty McCuntface reacted with fury:

“We do not accept this name change. Everybody loves us, and will want to trade with us despite the pound being worth 29 pence. Other countries definitely do not think we’re cunts.”

In a simultaneous poll, France has renamed itself The Fifth Largest Economy In The World So Suck It Up Cunty McCuntface.

Cunty McCuntface declined to comment.