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Michael Bay Physically Incapable of Directing Anything Other Than Transformers Movies

By Romina Espinosa at http://www.rominaespinosa.com [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

By Romina Espinosa at http://www.rominaespinosa.com [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

A recent attempt at directing a romantic comedy has proven what has long been suspected by Hollywood: that Michael Bay has become physically incapable of directing anything other than Transformers movies.

Worried that he was stuck in a rut, Bay took on the directing duties for romantic comedy I’ve Fallen in Love With Someone I’ve Never Had a Real Conversation With Yet We’re Trying So Hard to Convince You That This is True Love, the latest half-arsed vehicle for Jennifer Aniston and some bloke with a square jaw and a boring face.

On the first day of shooting, Bay tried to smash his two leading actors together for a crash scene, only stopping when equity stepped in. The filming process continued to unravel when he repeatedly stopped filming complaining that his actors’ faces weren’t robotic enough.

“I just can’t believe they mean what they’re saying. They’re too expressive!” he told Variety magazine.

The film ended up being finished by whichever moron directs all the other romantic comedies with no romance or comedy in them.

Bay has decided to go back to doing what he does best, telling Variety:

“Crash! Boom! Creepy close up of Megan Fox’s arse! TRANSFORM!!”

In an expected development, Jennifer Aniston has shown herself to be incapable of acting in anything other than a romantic comedy by being fired on the first day of shooting for Transformers 6* after repeatedly flirting with a tennis ball on a stick.

 

*We think it’s Transformers 6. We lost count. Maybe it’s 5. Who fucking cares?

 

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