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Government to Outsource Syria Debate to One Poll


The government has decided to outsource any further ethical debate over the bombing of Syria to multiple-choice pollsters One Poll.

“Morals are difficult,” said David Cameron. “I think it’s much better if we privatise these kinds of decisions to anonymous Internet button clickers.”

One Poll are said to be delighted to have beaten ATOS to the cushy job of weighing up ‘good’ and ‘bad’ murders.

There will be a series of multiple choice questions that people can answer, each round earning the person ten pence and the satisfaction of affecting world events with a minimum of effort.

A typical round reads:

How many innocent deaths are ok if it means you look like you’re doing something to help all the refugees you won’t let through your own borders?

Is it:

A- 1
B- 100
C- 1000
D- 1000,000,000,000

One Poll are awaiting your votes…

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