It has been revealed that David Cameron is jealous of Tony Blair’s lovable adventures in Iraq, and simply wants to have his own ‘go’ at Syria.
“We’re supposed to be the nasty party,” said a source. “Cameron can’t simply let Blair have the monopoly on being a warmongering dickhead. It is completely understandable that Cameron would want his own war.”
The truth was revealed in a secret dossier leaked to the press.
Other surprises revealed in the dossier include:
- Bizarre pretend foxhunting games, where up and coming tories would dress up like Jeremy Corbyn while cabinet ministers ‘hunted’ them down and whipped them.
- George Osborne is apparently a fan of The Good Life, and cries at how economically the Goods live.
- Most disturbingly, we find out that far from being enemies, David Cameron and Tony Blair secretly meet up to talk about God and to wank over military magazines. Cameron’s plans for Syria were actually drawn up post-wank at the most recent of these meetups.
France are said to be ‘reviewing’ the UK’s involvement in their Syrian campaign.