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Gamma Ray Expert Forced to Stop Watching BBC’s Question Time

Laurence Boyce at the English language Wikipedia [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)], from Wikimedia Commons

Laurence Boyce at the English language Wikipedia [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)%5D, from Wikimedia Commons

In the first case of its kind, a reclusive American gamma ray expert living in the North West of England has been forced via a court order obtained by his doctor to stop watching BBC’s Question Time in case he endangers the lives of others.

Dr Will Danner has been a fan of the show since he mysteriously moved over from America a few years ago, but several incidents taking place after 10.35pm on a Thursday night have raised concerns about public safety.

Several of Danner’s neighbours report hearing angry shouting from Danner’s flat:

“I often hear all kinds of ranting,” says his next door neighbour, Fran. “Things like: ‘How can you say something so stupid?’, ‘Are you mad?’, and ‘Not fucking Farage again!’.’

Another neighbour, Paul, reported hearing loud roaring noises and smashing sounds:

“There would be lots of shouting, followed by what sounded like tearing fabric, and then this huge roaring and the noise of things breaking. I mean, who gets that annoyed at a TV show, even if it is Question Time? He really needs to sort out that anger of his.”

Fran agrees:

“It’s not normal. He must pay a fortune fixing that window every week. There’s all kinds of other weird behaviour, too. Someone says she sees some big guy coming and going from his flat at night, but there’s only him living there. And he buys new t-shirts every week. Dozens of them. Who does that? What the hell does he do with the old ones?”

According to Paul, the neighbours are all scared of Dr Danner:

“We’re just scared of accidentally making him angry. Nobody likes him when he’s angry. And, I don’t want to suggest anything, but sometimes they find bodies on a Friday morning, local tories usually, or just people who were apparently randomly walking down the alley next to the flats. It’s got us all scared. Not that I’m suggesting anything, mind… “

Fran hopes the court order will reduce the incidents. It might be just what he needs, she says.

Our reporter managed to get hold of Dr Danner on one of his rare excursions from his flat, but on seeing us he just ran away, yelling:

“How did you find me? Are you CIA? SHIELD? Why can’t you people just leave me alone!”

 

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