Smirnoff are said to be ‘flabbergasted’ after the Gideons refused to allow them to place leaflets advertising their vodka products inside their bibles.

The Gideon Society are known for their advertising of Christianity by placing bibles in hotel rooms for unwary travellers. Who hasn’t rooted through the bedside table on entering a new hotel room, found a bible and muttered, “What the fuck is this?”. Well, that’s the Gideons.

However, the Gideon society are currently facing anger from the vodka community after refusing to allow Smirnoff to place leaflets advertising their new Smirnoff Smashed ‘alco-pop’ inside their widespread hotel bibles.

“It’s ridiculous,” said Smirnoff spokeswoman Joanna Lumley. “We live in a world of free speech. The Gideons are allowed to advertise Jesus, sheep, boats, beards, whatever they want, in the bible. Why can’t we advertise getting smashed? Noah does it. If it’s ok for him, it’s ok for everybody else. When people open a bible they can expect adverts from all kinds of sources. This is censorship. It is an assault by hipster religionists on drinking culture.”

The Gideon Society stands by its decision.

“The Bible is a religious space. People enter a bible expecting only religious advertisements. It has always been our policy to avoid politics, secularism and vodka. If they want to advertise elsewhere, that’s fine, but people open bibles expecting a particular experience, and getting smashed is not one of them.”

We went out onto the streets of Liverpool to ask the general public what they thought of the controversy:

“Well, I like a good bible,” said John. “But I also like getting smashed. I don’t know if the two of them go together though.”

“I’m all for it,” said Lucy. “I don’t personally go for getting smashed, but if other people want to get smashed while having a religious experience, then that’s their business.”

“I think it’s a very sensitive topic at the moment, considering the average price of a fucking pint now,” said Carl.

Paul was extremely angry: “I’m a mormon. We hardly have any bibles anywhere in this country because the Gideons have taken all the best advertising spots. Free speech, my arse.”

Jill said, “I couldn’t care about either party. In all honesty, I’m not happy with having a fucking bible in my hotel room. It’s a bed to stay in, not a recruiting room. I suppose if I used the mini-bar that would make me hypocritical, but if I want to get smashed without spending all my money I’ll go the dive down the road. Likewise, if I want a religous experience I’ll go to a frigging church or take some mushrooms.”

The controversy ‘rages’ on…