Thousands of UK grandparents have seen their arse after not one of their selfish grandchildren remembered National Grandparent’s Day.

Grandma and Grandpa Ackles from Cheshire said:

“It’s a flaming disgrace. We babysit all the time. We give our grandchild pennies from our pension. We put up with our home being turned into a shit tip every time he visits, but we didn’t even get a fucking Grandparent’s Day card. Ungrateful brat.”

It is unclear whether Grandma and Grandpa Ackles were talking about their son Jared, or their grandson Jensen. We think it was a bit unfair if they were talking about Jensen, as he’s only one.

Harassed parents Louise and Kirk from Blackpool told us:

“Huh, Grandparent’s Day? Seriously? That’s a thing? Christ.”

Louise added:

“As if I haven’t got enough to do, with working full time, looking after three children, two cats and one husband. Shove a broom up my arse and I’ll sweep as I go.”

Despite having a wee nipper of our own, the lovely folks at The Sceptical Poet also didn’t bother acknowledging this money spinning nonsense day. In fact, we had to google it to find out when the hell it was. It was in October. We missed it. Ah, well. Maybe next year. Anyone got a broom?

(Our records show that the only person who did actually remember to get his grandparents a card this year, was Charlie Bucket, and he doesn’t count because he’s not real. A bit like Jesus.)