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Warning. Please read! The Government Have Cancelled Putting the Clocks Back an Hour This Year.

Here in the UK, the end of October usually means the clocks go back an hour. This year however, the government has decided at the last minute that it’s “just too much effort,” so they’re “not going to bother”.

“It’s late notice, but I am glad. It’s a pain in the arse,” said Father Time.

“Nobody likes arsing about moving their clocks backwards and forwards. Facebook has been fragile lately, and if it crashes on clock change day, no one will even know to change them anyway,” said Bob, the voice of the talking clock.

In an exclusive interview with The Sceptical Poet, David Cameron said:

“We did a One Poll survey and the results were as follows: 12% of British citizens (we didn’t ask the foreigners, it’s not their business) kind of like the idea of a lighter morning or darker night or whichever this would be. 20% couldn’t care less either way and a whopping 78% would rather we stopped faffing with their time altogether. Admittedly, One Poll has its flaws and the numbers never seem to add up, but we’re going to go with the majority as we’ve pissed off enough people lately.”

Disgruntled leftie and Corbyn lover Angela, said: “It’s an outdated tradition, like singing the National Anthem, so I’m glad they’ve given it the boot. It’s like taxes and benefits. The took the hour off us with one hand and then gave it back to us with the other. Then they expected us to be grateful for the extra hour in bed which they stole off us in the first place. Wankers.”

This year, the clocks were due to change today, the 25th of October.

The Sceptical Poet wishes to remind all of you that our clocks are definitely, without uncertainty, NOT going back this year. Please DO NOT adjust your clocks.

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