A middle aged woman has gone on record this week stating that she doesn’t know the difference between Nestlé’s Quality Street and Cadbury’s Roses.

“I’m 47 years old. I’ve been gorging on these chocolates every christmas for 46 years, and I still can’t tell the bloody difference,” said a disgruntled Patricia.

“It’s the run up to Christmas now and people will just presume I know, and they’ll ask me which I prefer or what sweet I want without offering me the menu. Everyone else knows by heart what’s in each tin, but I don’t. I just have to say ‘a pink one’, as I’m pretty sure there’s a pink one in both.

“Sometimes this works out well, and I get a scrummy fudge treat, other times I get a horrid strawberry gloop one. It’s like Russian roulette.”

“I don’t see why they can’t just amalgamate and call themselves Cadbury’s Street or something.” she told us.

“And to add to that, I’ve also got the stress of finding a turkey to feed my vegetarian husband on Christmas Day. Vegetarian turkeys are very hard to come by, you know. They hardly ever have that big green V symbol on them. And all the ready prepared roasties are in goose fat too. I don’t have time to cook my Christmas dinner from scratch, I’m too busy worrying that I might get a vile coffee creme chocolate by mistake.”

For anybody reading this who suffers with the same affliction as poor Patricia, and also doesn’t know the difference, Quality Street have toffee, caramel and nutty sweets, and Roses have nutty, caramel and toffee sweets. That’s the difference. We think.