Fears are growing for the safety of The Cloud after it reportedly lost itself in The Cloud. The Cloud has now been missing for over 24 hours, so police are starting to take its disappearance seriously.

“Most lost things turn up within 24 hours,” said Police Constable Davies, “So unless you’ve lost a child or a really, really cute pet, we’re not really that arsed until the following day.”

Google, who were the first to notice The Cloud had gone AWOL, reported it missing yesterday. Unfortunately, the major newpapers were too busy still fussing over the carrier bag shenanigans, to bother reporting on the story.

A vigil is being held at midnight tonight in the ‘Bombed Out Church’ in Liverpool to pray for the missing abstract idea. All are welcome.

Suspicions are growing fast that News Of The World bosses are involved and that they may have hacked The Cloud’s Iphone, but there is no real proof of this as yet.

“I think The Sun stole The Cloud,” said Helen from Liverpool.

“Ultimately, we are praying for the safe return of our beloved Cloud. No one is angry. We love you, we miss you and we just want to know you’re safe,” said The Cloud’s mum and dad.

If you have any information on the whereabouts of The Cloud, please contact us at The Sceptical Poet.