We are fast approaching Stoptober, a hilarious play on the words stop, and October.

Although intended for smokers, during Stoptober good folks like yourselves can give up something you love, or like, or just do out of habit.

Why? Well, for charidee of course.

Most people stop drinking or smoking or eating pies, some even grow moustaches in support during the equally hilarious Movember, but others think more outside the box.

We sent our interviewer Barton Mashir to speak to some of these people: –

Mashir: “Hello, Penelope. Can you tell us what you will be stopping for Stoptober?”

Penelope: “Well Barton, I don’t smoke or drink and I can’t grow a moustache, but I wanted to help. I’ve decided to raise money by stopping saying ‘there’s nothing worse than… ‘ and then naming something that there are clearly much worse things than, like a missed bus, paper cuts and that fine rain that really gets you wet.

“I think it’s going to be utterly impossible for me to do, as I’m so prone to exaggeration that I don’t know how I’ll cope.”

Bernard: “Oh put a sock in it Penny, you whingebag.”

Mashir: “Bernard, what about you?”

Bernard: “I’m going to stop complaining. I complain so much that I complain about my own complaints. And then I complain about that.”

Penelope: “There’s nothing worse than someone who complains about… oh shit.”

Mashir: “Not that anybody cares, but I’m giving up interviewing pointless people for pointless stories. I interviewed Miss Piggy, you know. I was someone once… I quit.”

That’s the spirit, Barton. If you quit now you’re five times more likely to stay quitted.

Start stopping now for Stoptober.