Queen Elizabeth the second, matriarch of celebrity posh family the Windsors, is now officially the longest reigning benefits claimant in the UK.
Liz, as she is known to her friends, has been living in her council house Buckingham Palace for at least sixty years. In that time she has never worked, living completely off state benefits. Her extended family, who also claim benefits and have never worked, live with Liz in the palace.
John Iron, a left wing comedian who loves talking about how this kind of thing really annoys him, said:
“This kind of thing really annoys me. Not only does she sponge off the state at the expense of British tax payers, but she gets extra benefits to pay for butlers and maids. She even has more than one council house. She has several of them all over the UK. I don’t know how she gets away with it. “
Liz refused to comment, citing a headache as a result of wearing her crown for sixty years. Her son, Charles, was happy to talk, but only about biscuits, plants and magic water. The rest of Liz’s family were too boring or racist to bother approaching.