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Magazine Interview: ‘No Hope of a Happy Ending for Miss Piggy’, by Barton Mashir.


It seems Miss Piggy’s woes are set to continue as Kermit and new partner Denise set a date for their upcoming wedding.

Miss Piggy has finally broken her silence to reveal the underlying reasons for the break-up of her relationship with life partner Kermit.

In an exclusive interview from her luxury sty, she told us: “There was always three of us in this relationship.”

Interviewer: “What do you mean?”

Miss Piggy: “Well, there’s a reason I stayed a Miss for thirty years. Our relationship was a sham. A publicity stunt. I signed the contract when I was just a teenager. I needed the money.

“I fell for him after a while. He was handsome and charming, and I thought if I kissed him enough he’d turn into a prince.”

Friends of Miss Piggy have given their support, saying they will stand by her and her decision to out Kermit as a publicity seeking whore.

Interviewer: “Your friend Vanessa Feltz told us that she was inspired by your unusual look, and Sharon from Eastenders said that Kermit is a twonk for swapping you for a skinnier, prettier model. How does that make you feel?”

Miss Piggy: “I’m glad my girlies are standing by me. It wasn’t easy admitting my youngest child’s father was really Elmo, but weirdly no one seemed surprised.”

Miss Piggy’s audio book, ‘There is No One on The Planet to Compare with Moi’ is available in all good bookshops just in time for Christmas.

Speak, or forever hold thy tongue...

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